Obstacles.
Life.
Never.Ending.Obstacles.
Anguish.
Fight? Flight?
Terms?
Life.
Grief.
Obstacles.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Why I don't like to see Doctors
Ok, so, I have shin splints in BOTH legs, from simply walking, the brittle bone disease and the bone loss I am showing suggests that this shouldn't be a shock, it's affecting my arms and teeth also, hence some of the forearm pain, and the need for sensitive tooth toothpaste. This isn't new, I've done the bone tests before, it's just getting worse. This part tends to be genetic I am told.
The muscle swelling induced PAD is new, it's also the majority of the cause of the pain in my calves, hips, and gluts, it could also be contributing to the pain in my forearms, since the blood flow is restricted at times. I guess I'm just falling apart, and there isn't much that can even be done about it. Now I get to watch for symptoms of heart issues, the restrictions on the blood vessels will most certainly lead to that at some point.
A good starting point to alleviate some of the pain and help the issues at handn would be weightloss, funny how that's a contributing factor, but I'm restricted on physical activity because of it. No gym for me. Low impact exercise only, I can ride a bike, do short 10 minutes burst upper body cardio routines (low impact lower body cardio added AFTER the shin splints are relieved), and walk as tolerated. I will be using the Kinect for the Xbox, I'm glad I had already wrapped my head around that possibility yesterday, I just felt like there was something wrong and I shouldn't join the gym before being seen about my legs.
I also have the start of pneumonia, it's nothing contagious though, it was most likely brought on by the vomiting, dehydration, and laying around for a day and a half. Antibiotics will clear that up in no time since it was caught early.
The muscle swelling induced PAD is new, it's also the majority of the cause of the pain in my calves, hips, and gluts, it could also be contributing to the pain in my forearms, since the blood flow is restricted at times. I guess I'm just falling apart, and there isn't much that can even be done about it. Now I get to watch for symptoms of heart issues, the restrictions on the blood vessels will most certainly lead to that at some point.
A good starting point to alleviate some of the pain and help the issues at handn would be weightloss, funny how that's a contributing factor, but I'm restricted on physical activity because of it. No gym for me. Low impact exercise only, I can ride a bike, do short 10 minutes burst upper body cardio routines (low impact lower body cardio added AFTER the shin splints are relieved), and walk as tolerated. I will be using the Kinect for the Xbox, I'm glad I had already wrapped my head around that possibility yesterday, I just felt like there was something wrong and I shouldn't join the gym before being seen about my legs.
I also have the start of pneumonia, it's nothing contagious though, it was most likely brought on by the vomiting, dehydration, and laying around for a day and a half. Antibiotics will clear that up in no time since it was caught early.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Recent exchange with Tasha...
I could write for months about all the crazy crap we do and say to each other, but this one really IS blog worthy ...
I finished folding another load of laundry, I called Tasha in to get hers to put it away...she said "Again!" all snotty like and sighed...I said "Yes, AGAIN!" all snotty like and sighed back....she took her pile and went off towards her room muttering...I caught this part - "I think my mom needs a damn happy pill or something, YES, I said a HAPPY pill!" .... WTH?!?!
I finished folding another load of laundry, I called Tasha in to get hers to put it away...she said "Again!" all snotty like and sighed...I said "Yes, AGAIN!" all snotty like and sighed back....she took her pile and went off towards her room muttering...I caught this part - "I think my mom needs a damn happy pill or something, YES, I said a HAPPY pill!" .... WTH?!?!
Pictures...
I hate pictures of myself. Period. I have since the winter of 1988 when I was pregnant with Devin...Well, there are a few from 1990, 1992 and 1996-97 that are fine, at least I'm just a little overweight in them, not morbidly obese...what the hell happened to me? I feel like I'm lost and drowning inside another person, ok, let's face it, 2 OTHER people...
This morning I was sitting here looking at some photo's thinking I should scrapbook a while...no way, no way in hell are THESE pictures going to be how people remember me! I came to this conclusipn after looking at one and thinking - "I sure hope I don't fall over on a sloped street, there'so telling where I'd stop"....not.good.
I'm going to go drag the exercise bike in off the porch, I can read and peddle, watch tv and peddle, or simply cry and peddle like I did on Thursday.....as long as I'm moving I really don't care how....
This morning I was sitting here looking at some photo's thinking I should scrapbook a while...no way, no way in hell are THESE pictures going to be how people remember me! I came to this conclusipn after looking at one and thinking - "I sure hope I don't fall over on a sloped street, there'so telling where I'd stop"....not.good.
I'm going to go drag the exercise bike in off the porch, I can read and peddle, watch tv and peddle, or simply cry and peddle like I did on Thursday.....as long as I'm moving I really don't care how....
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Hunting that elusive healthy body....
So, we all know that I'm all about change lately...BIG change....hell, if you're going to finally tackle the obstacles you've created in your life you might as well do the biggest ones first, right? I figure if I get the big ones out of the way then the small ones will just kind of fall into placed, ok, so I'm HOPING....
Anyhow, as all of my life obstacles go, I go big or don't go at all....I quit smoking the first part of March, got my GED the end of March, Enrolled in college in April, started in August, and now, in October, I've joined a mom's group version of the 'Biggest Loser', 12 weeks to lose as big of a percentage as you can, the grand prize is $360...if I win I am buying a treadmill with the money, if I lose I am buying Dairy Queen.
I weighed in yesterday (10/20), their scale is WAY heavier than mine, but for the sake of argument, and because that scale will determine the outcome, we'll use their weight....288....yep, that officially makes my weight GAIN THIS YEAR 60 pounds, yes, I said SIXTY pounds, since the end of March...good thing that in January and February I LOST 25 huh? Frick.
So, anyhow, this is Day 1 and I have some catching up to do since this is Thursday and most of the others started on Monday or Tuesday....
Week 1, Day 1....Biked 4 miles, walked 4 miles. Need to eat more often throughout the day, I am ravenous from not eating all day! Also need to drink more water, every single day!
Anyhow, as all of my life obstacles go, I go big or don't go at all....I quit smoking the first part of March, got my GED the end of March, Enrolled in college in April, started in August, and now, in October, I've joined a mom's group version of the 'Biggest Loser', 12 weeks to lose as big of a percentage as you can, the grand prize is $360...if I win I am buying a treadmill with the money, if I lose I am buying Dairy Queen.
I weighed in yesterday (10/20), their scale is WAY heavier than mine, but for the sake of argument, and because that scale will determine the outcome, we'll use their weight....288....yep, that officially makes my weight GAIN THIS YEAR 60 pounds, yes, I said SIXTY pounds, since the end of March...good thing that in January and February I LOST 25 huh? Frick.
So, anyhow, this is Day 1 and I have some catching up to do since this is Thursday and most of the others started on Monday or Tuesday....
Week 1, Day 1....Biked 4 miles, walked 4 miles. Need to eat more often throughout the day, I am ravenous from not eating all day! Also need to drink more water, every single day!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The 6 Pack vs The Keg....
I can't blog about school yet, not more than to just say that I'm done with week 6, day 2...I'm just too emotional about anything to do with serious at this point, I'm sure my Tuesday anti-psychotic sessions have something to do with that...someday soon I should be able to explain that without murdering someone. Wait for it, wait....
However, I CAN blog about my experience with that bitch, Jillian Michaels, ya know...that skinny, pushy broad in tights that tried to KILL ME tonight!
I'm pretty sure that to do that "30 Day Shred" you have to be halfway in shape already....I thought round WAS a shape, but alas, I must be mistaken...
Anyhow, all I can really say is that a keg holds more than a 6 pack...I'm positive that my husband will appreciate that fact when he has a "deposit" to make....if not, I'm quite sure that the "Bitch in Tights" can kick his ass too...
However, I CAN blog about my experience with that bitch, Jillian Michaels, ya know...that skinny, pushy broad in tights that tried to KILL ME tonight!
I'm pretty sure that to do that "30 Day Shred" you have to be halfway in shape already....I thought round WAS a shape, but alas, I must be mistaken...
Anyhow, all I can really say is that a keg holds more than a 6 pack...I'm positive that my husband will appreciate that fact when he has a "deposit" to make....if not, I'm quite sure that the "Bitch in Tights" can kick his ass too...
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Recap of my first week of school.....
Monday; up and showered early, hair perfect, fully loaded makeup, backpack and lunch bag were completely packed the night before.
Tuesday; I'm up and showered on time, hair blow dried, full makeup, backpack packed night before, Tasha packe...d my lunch last night, how nice.
Wednesday; it's morning? Ok, I'm up...showered with barely enough time to get eyeliner and mascara on, remembered books but forgot to put laptop in backpack the night before, crammed yogurt, string cheese, a dt. coke and 2 frapps in the bag on the way out the door.
Thursday; I'm frickin' up (mumbling - damn effing alarm clock, shut the hell up - as she slaps the snooze button on the WRONG alarm clock)...to hell with the shower, I barely put any hairspray on yesterday anyhow, washed my face last night before bed but better use the actual makeup remover to get rid of the raccoon eyes, get bedhead hair flattened out, add mascara, cram books (that I had to gather from every corner of the house) into backpack, lock door on way out...shit!...forgot laptop...unlock door, get laptop....packing lunch is over rated, if Julie doesn't end up joining me I'll pay a stranger to have lunch with me....
And, little girl, what did you learn this week? I learned that I know how to teach a computer class on Outlook 2007 better than some...some that actually get paid to teach it.
Tuesday; I'm up and showered on time, hair blow dried, full makeup, backpack packed night before, Tasha packe...d my lunch last night, how nice.
Wednesday; it's morning? Ok, I'm up...showered with barely enough time to get eyeliner and mascara on, remembered books but forgot to put laptop in backpack the night before, crammed yogurt, string cheese, a dt. coke and 2 frapps in the bag on the way out the door.
Thursday; I'm frickin' up (mumbling - damn effing alarm clock, shut the hell up - as she slaps the snooze button on the WRONG alarm clock)...to hell with the shower, I barely put any hairspray on yesterday anyhow, washed my face last night before bed but better use the actual makeup remover to get rid of the raccoon eyes, get bedhead hair flattened out, add mascara, cram books (that I had to gather from every corner of the house) into backpack, lock door on way out...shit!...forgot laptop...unlock door, get laptop....packing lunch is over rated, if Julie doesn't end up joining me I'll pay a stranger to have lunch with me....
And, little girl, what did you learn this week? I learned that I know how to teach a computer class on Outlook 2007 better than some...some that actually get paid to teach it.
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